Virtual Repentance

The saying was popular a few years ago: "Love means never having to say you're sorry." This is one of those ideas that "sounds good" but isn't Biblical. It leads to something that looks like repentance but is only "virtual repentance."

Taking this a step further it becomes, "Repentance means you don't have to give back what you stole." Again, this sounds good but it isn't Biblical. Repentance includes restitution (when possible).

Remember Zaccheus? A lot of people know about his desire to meet Jesus, how he was too short to see and had to climb a tree. But there is another great example from his life about true repentance:

Luke 19:8 But Zacchaeus stood up and said to the Lord, “Look, Lord! Here and now I give half of my possessions to the poor, and if I have cheated anybody out of anything, I will pay back four times the amount.” 9Jesus said to him, “Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham.

"If I have cheated...I will pay back." True repentance includes restitution.

• If you lied, repentance isn't JUST saying, "God, forgive me for lying." It also includes going to the person you lied to and saying, "I lied. Forgive me."
• If you broke your neighbor's lawn mower, don't give it back and say, "I'm sorry." Get it fixed.
• If you gossip about someone and slander their character, repentance isn't just saying, "I confessed that to God." It also includes going to that person and saying, "I was wrong. I hurt you. Will you forgive me?"

Anything less than that isn't true repentance. Anything less, will not lead to Biblical forgiveness and reconciliation. 

No, restitution isn't always possible. For example, you can't "pay it back" for a girlfriend's abortion which you demanded years ago. It's impossible to get the baby back, and restore your girlfriend's life to the way it was before the abortion. You can't "fully pay" for the broken heart your affair caused. You can't truly pay restitution for stealing a girl's virginity. (Although, the court may require you to do so by the law, it still can't fully PAY for something that is priceless! And yes, you should abide by the law as a Christian.) The point is that yes, some things are priceless and can't be re-compensated. In those instances, we ask for forgiveness and mercy. That's what we do with God. We can't repay our debt for our sins against God. 

But this doesn't apply to human relationships, to churches, friends and saints who have it within their power to "make things right" by admitting sin, asking for forgiveness, paying back what's stolen, fixing the situation when possible and seeking reconciliation. In these settings, forgiveness isn't only vertical. It also has a horizontal component. 

Matthew 5:25“Settle matters quickly with your adversary who is taking you to court. Do it while you are still with him on the way, or he may hand you over to the judge, and the judge may hand you over to the officer, and you may be thrown into prison. 26I tell you the truth, you will not get out until you have paid the last penny.^d

^{Anything less is virtual repentance.}  

^{(For some excellent content regarding this and teens, check out Mark Gregston's blog here: Vandalism and Forgiveness.)}