Quiet Love

It seems kind of odd to talk about quiet. Sort of like writing an article on health in between slurps of mega-size Dr. Pepper. But here goes.

It's hard to believe that it's been 20 years since these words were first played on the radio,

What would you do if my heart was torn in two
More than words to show you feel
That your love for me is real
What would you say
If I took those words away? 

(From "More than Words" by Extreme)


But it still applies--sometimes words are a nuisance and simply aren't helpful. Words are not always the best language of love. Like,

At a funeral -- "Well at least he's in a better place"
When a baby dies -- "Maybe you'll have another one"
When your dog of 15 years dies -- "You need to get another puppy."
When your Mom and Dad divorce -- "Well, an unhappy marriage is worse than divorce."

Or feeling like we must respond to every question in the shadow of Newtown, CT. Like these responses:
"I'll tell you where God was. He left the building in 1963 when we took prayer out of the schools."
"I wonder what was wrong in that home."
"There needs to be a filter for sick people."
"Another reason for gun-control."

There may be a time for discussing these things. But not now. We need the love that is expressed with fewer words. Now is not the time to explain. Now is the time for the ministry of presence. To quote another old song, sometimes "my words get in the way." Silence is golden. Not the kind that sits in coldness but warm, loving silence with actions of loving kindness.

Think about the darkest moments of your life. What do you remember? What someone said? Or who was there? It's rare we remember what was said. But we always remember who sat with us, held us and cried. 

Yeah, I know. I've just proved my point. So much for quiet. I've already said too much.

Red and Green

Red and green is everywhere. It's Christmas. And it reminds me of how long it will be until I taste a real vine-ripened tomato again! The fake ones in the store just aren't the same. It also reminds me of what I call the ripe fruit principle.

Imagine you have two patches of tomatoes. The first patch was planted 15 days earlier than the second. Now anyone who has ever grown them knows when it's June it seems like the tomatoes will never turn red. You want that first ripe tomato so everyday you go and poke around in the second patch. But everything is still green. No matter how much you dig around the plant and provide the right conditions, it's still going to take anywhere from 60-90 days until harvest. You can fret over the green tomatoes but there are laws of the harvest and no amount of fretting will make a difference. You need to go where the tomatoes are ripe.

Sometimes I spend too much time fretting over someone who just needs more time on the vine. I can pray, hope and worry. I can make it about me: "What am I doing wrong? What's wrong with my leadership?" When sometimes, it's not about me at all. It's about them.

My time would be better spent looking for the ripe tomatoes.

• "But they have so much talent!" Yes, but they aren't ready.
• "But I love them!" Yes, but they aren't ready to receive your love.
• "But they have money and that could help the cause here." Yes, but they aren't ready to turn lose of it.
• "But I know I could help them!" Yes, but they aren't ripe enough to hear it.

There's someone who is ready to say yes, ready to hear the gospel; someone who is hungry for wisdom...now. Around you, there is someone who is ripe for harvest, for leadership or even for friendship. They may not be as pretty, as smart, as talented or as likeable. But don't fret over the green tomatoes. Just go for the ripe ones today.