SORROW CAN'T CANCEL JOY

“Jesus, the Son of God, is the man of sorrows, but also the man of complete joy.” (Henri Nouwen, "The Return of the Prodigal)

Just this morning my wife asked me, "How did you sleep?" I'm supposed to answer, good or bad. If I woke up for an hour, then it was bad even though I may have slept a solid six hours before I woke up. 

We often feel that way about joy and sorrow. We're like the kid in the ice cream shop faced with vanilla or chocolate, orange or grape sherbet. You can have one but not both.   

We have good days and bad days. We say, "When will life be normal? Can't I have just one fun day with no problems?" 

I find myself feeling that way during sabbath. I'm not religious about it, but I practice a discipline of ceasing from normal work one 24-hour period every week. I have an agenda in my head to do all the things that fill my tank: reading, piddling in the garage, gardening, a nap, even splitting wood. 

But sometimes, emergencies happen. My loose "agenda" for fun and rest changes abruptly. And I can get frustrated, even to the point of anger. "Well, there goes my sabbath." 

In "The Return of the Prodigal," Henri Nouwen writes how all the sorrow in the world doesn't cancel God's joy. God sees it all: rape, war, child abuse, murder and grief. At the same time, He hears a child's laughter, a choir singing, and a prodigal's prayer. And yet, for Him, one doesn't cancel the other. Jesus, the image of the invisible God, was a man of sorrows and a God of unspeakable joy. He is the widow who finds her one lost coin, the shepherd who finds his one lost sheep and the Father who runs to meet his wayward son. And there is joy in heaven over the one, He says. (see Luke 15)

For us, sadness cancels happiness. Bad news cancels good news. Happy times are here or they're gone. Suffering cancels joy. 

For the last many years, we have held a Good Friday service. We reflect on the cross, and His suffering. We often have sensory stations where you can smell the sour wine, feel the nails, see a crown of thorns. The lighting is low. The songs are more reflective and provoking. We still call it "Good Friday." But the joy is tinged with sorrow and the goodness is bittersweet. 

For many of us, it makes Resurrection Day, even more glorious.

It reminds me that suffering cannot cancel joy. Sadness cannot snuff out the flicker of happiness. An emergency can't ruin a sabbath. The sound of tanks rolling into Ukraine can't drown out the singing of heaven. A funeral dirge can't eliminate the feeling of sunshine on your face. A cloudy day can't ruin the wonder of a field of red tulips. 

The suffering of this temporary world can't cancel true joy.         

WHERE ARE THE JOYFUL MEN?

How many joyful men do you know? I asked my wife, "Do you know any guys whose dominant characteristic is joy?" Long pause. I was hoping she would say, "You!" Nope. Finally, she came up with a few and I did too. But it wasn't without some thought. Why? 

Wes Yoder in his book, Bond of Brothers, asks the question. I'll let you read and figure out why he asks.  But related to his subject, I'll say this: it's hard to be joyful when you're a poser. Posers are afraid of discovery. They fear intimacy with other guys because if they are found out the charade is over. 

The guys that I know who are marked by joy don't seem to be consumed with imaging. There's a childlike acceptance of being fully human, not super human or stuffy. They frequently laugh at themselves and still more instructive--they are more prompt at confession. 

Remember Eustace in Voyage of the Dawn Treader? He thinks of himself as the intelligent, mature one--not wasting time with childish wonder, fantasy and play. He prides himself on being a realist, an avid journalist, not missing the sophisticated perspective of everyday life. He excuses his mistakes and can't see his imperfections. And he's an insufferable person to be around.

In High School, I had a classmate, Joe, who like Eustace, was sharper than the average guy. Not in style or appearance. He often had a bad case of dandruff evidenced on his shoulders, frequently wore the same t-shirt, and would probably get high marks on the nerd scale. Once asked about the kind of shampoo he used, "Ivory Soap," he said. "You mean Ivory shampoo in a bottle?" "No, like the bar." His sister in the same classroom, gave an audible gasp and eyeroll. He rarely studied as far as I know, but got the material and aced any math test you put in front of him. He didn't compete for jock-dom and he wasn't popular with the girls. But he was joyful. (I wouldn't be surprised if he's the innovating mind behind some wildly successful startup now.)

I'm not applauding his lack of discipline. Maybe part of his persona was actually rebellion against the status quo. I don't know. But I don't think he was a poser. I think that was just joyful Joe.

When Paul wrote to first century believers and gave the dominant characteristics of the spirit-filled life, near the top of the list was, joy. When he contrasted the kingdom of God with legalism, the hard-nosed way centered on law-keeping rather than grace, he described it as, "righteousness peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." (Romans 14:17) When Jesus set forward a model of true godliness, at least once, he put forward a child as his sermon illustration. And many children I know are more joyful than most adults. 

Jesus once told a parable about two men praying. I'll paraphrase. One was expressing gratitude but it centered on who he was and wasn't: "I'm so grateful I'm able to give so much to charity and that I've managed to be consistent in my quiet time. You have kept me from being a disgusting pagan like this guy praying next to me." The other guy in a less honorable profession, is crouched down. His bright green boxers are showing above his belt and he's making a scene, praying a bit too loud, using street language. "God, it's me, Joe. I can't believe I get to call you, Father. I really need Your help again. I'm so far from being the kind of husband and daddy I want to be. Just last night, I was rude to my wife and had no sympathy for my needy 4-year old. Have mercy on me, God!" 

Jesus says it was the second guy who walked away knowing God was pleased. The other walked away pleased with himself. And I'm guessing here--but probably also less joyful. (See Luke 18:9-17)

Pride, posturing, self-importance all have a joy-chilling effect. Some of the least joyful guys I know are pastors and worship leaders with rock-star images, complete with possees, multiple "handlers" and social media consultants. On the surface they look happy but when you spend more than ten minutes with them you find they are just Eustace with a few years on him, worried about image. 

How do I know? Because I fight the need to posture, to wonder if I'm presenting my best side. I'm ashamed at how long I wait to say, "I was wrong. You're right." But I'm repenting. And God is answering my prayer. 

Join me in the quest for joy. Begin here: "Have mercy on me, oh God."    

START ON TUESDAY

When my wife and I built our home and moved in, we went through the phase that everyone goes through: the phase of now and later. We decided the things we must have now: the bed, some clothes, the toiletries, the microwave, the flipflops, the robe and my workboots. The later? Those were things like pictures on the wall, stuff on the shelves, organizing the garage, box of DVD's, etc.

But we wanted to have friends over, to celebrate family birthdays, hold our small group and have houseguests. But...there were those undone things: the boxes still on the floor, the pictures not on the wall, the towel rod in the guest bathroom. We found ourselves saying, "We can have out-of-town guests after the boxes are unpacked...after the pictures are up...after the garage is organized...after the landscaping is finished. Months later, we decided together to quit living in the "afters" and start living now. So what if the boxes were unpacked and the basement wasn't finished.? We love people more than appearances!

Have you put off joy? Maybe you find yourself saying a lot of "afters"...
...after the kids are in school, I'll start my workouts
...after the kids are on break, we'll go camping
...after the kids graduate, I'll start a small group study
...after the holidays, I'll re-start my prayer time
...after we retire, we'll go see those old friends
...after I get through this week, then I'll start next Monday.

Break the trend! Why not start on Tuesday?

Joy Overflowing

Enjoyed unpacking the idea of joy in the Bible and especially as it relates to the Apostle Paul and his letter to believers at Philippi. Had a great first session with my STJ group last night. Good discussion and the beginning of new friendship.

Here's the clip many of you have seen. Showed it on Sunday. This will get some joy going on the inside.