BE REASONABLE

I was a fort-building kid. A few pieces of tin, a pallet or two, some pine boughs and bam! A fort. The best part? As a boy, it was deciding who was in and who was out and at seven, girls were definitely out. Thankfully I wised up on that one. But I still have to be wary of the push to categorize people. 

Maybe it's left over from our ancient history as humans--the need to group up for shared protection and resources. The desire for a tribe and the feeling that comes when you are among friends "where everybody knows your name" and shares your worldview. 

As a Christian, I believe in small groups. Community is essential for flourishing. But like many good things, this also has a dark side.  It flares up when you start hearing excessive use of pronouns like us, them, we and they. 

Today's social environment applies the heat to push us into for and against, black and white, anti and pro. Then you add the American right to "have it your way" with a hundred varieties to match our preferences of everything from toothpaste to toilet paper. And when this spills over into Christian life you have the ingredients for harshness, division, bitterness and rage. 

To early Christians, Paul writes, "Let your reasonableness be KNOWN to everyone" (Php 4:5 ESV, emphasis added). Are we Christians known for our reasonableness? Do those listening in on our discussions and disagreements say, "No doubt they are passionate, but I have to say, they continue to be reasonable with one another"? This is more than simply having reasons for your position. The word reasonableness here can also be translated as gentleness (NIV, NASB, NKJV). So I ask it this way, do we have a distinguishable mark of gentleness?

Gentleness is a slippery word. Most of us reserve the word gentle for things like doctors and health products. To be a gentleman isn’t quite the compliment it once was and forget about using gentlewoman to describe a female. You'll just get a sneer. Yet Jesus speaks of Himself as gentle (Matthew 11:28) and it's to be a defining characteristic of those who are full of the Spirit (Gal. 5:23).

Somehow we need to reclaim this as an admirable trait. Call it reasonableness, gentleness or meekness. But we can't escape it. Jesus and Paul agree: followers of Christ should be marked by a reasonable attitude.

This doesn't mean having a backbone made of soft-serve ice cream, or not taking a stand on anything. Nor does it mean compromise in every situation. Sometimes compromise is not possible. There are limits to gentleness in matters of faith. But the majority of our disagreements could use a good dose of reasonableness.

As I write this, Christians in America are discussing whether government restrictions are a dangerous infringement on our freedoms. I have pastor friends who are prayerfully trying to obey God and submit to government. One of them after choosing to follow local guidelines for gatherings, received an accusation that he was, "partaking in a liberal conspiracy to destroy America.” It escalated from there. I have friends who have strong feelings on both sides of the freedom issue. The question is can we discuss these things with gentleness and respect.

Again, there are limits to when reasonableness isn't loving. If someone is attacking your wife, or your child is running into traffic, gentleness isn't the loving or appropriate response. But in many cases, we could move forward if we just applied some reasonableness to our interactions.

A question I'm asking myself these days is, "Will the outcome of this disagreement matter when we're worshipping around the throne?" Can I stand with the martyred saints and say, "I'm really glad I took that position?"