WHERE ARE THE JOYFUL MEN?

How many joyful men do you know? I asked my wife, "Do you know any guys whose dominant characteristic is joy?" Long pause. I was hoping she would say, "You!" Nope. Finally, she came up with a few and I did too. But it wasn't without some thought. Why? 

Wes Yoder in his book, Bond of Brothers, asks the question. I'll let you read and figure out why he asks.  But related to his subject, I'll say this: it's hard to be joyful when you're a poser. Posers are afraid of discovery. They fear intimacy with other guys because if they are found out the charade is over. 

The guys that I know who are marked by joy don't seem to be consumed with imaging. There's a childlike acceptance of being fully human, not super human or stuffy. They frequently laugh at themselves and still more instructive--they are more prompt at confession. 

Remember Eustace in Voyage of the Dawn Treader? He thinks of himself as the intelligent, mature one--not wasting time with childish wonder, fantasy and play. He prides himself on being a realist, an avid journalist, not missing the sophisticated perspective of everyday life. He excuses his mistakes and can't see his imperfections. And he's an insufferable person to be around.

In High School, I had a classmate, Joe, who like Eustace, was sharper than the average guy. Not in style or appearance. He often had a bad case of dandruff evidenced on his shoulders, frequently wore the same t-shirt, and would probably get high marks on the nerd scale. Once asked about the kind of shampoo he used, "Ivory Soap," he said. "You mean Ivory shampoo in a bottle?" "No, like the bar." His sister in the same classroom, gave an audible gasp and eyeroll. He rarely studied as far as I know, but got the material and aced any math test you put in front of him. He didn't compete for jock-dom and he wasn't popular with the girls. But he was joyful. (I wouldn't be surprised if he's the innovating mind behind some wildly successful startup now.)

I'm not applauding his lack of discipline. Maybe part of his persona was actually rebellion against the status quo. I don't know. But I don't think he was a poser. I think that was just joyful Joe.

When Paul wrote to first century believers and gave the dominant characteristics of the spirit-filled life, near the top of the list was, joy. When he contrasted the kingdom of God with legalism, the hard-nosed way centered on law-keeping rather than grace, he described it as, "righteousness peace and joy in the Holy Spirit." (Romans 14:17) When Jesus set forward a model of true godliness, at least once, he put forward a child as his sermon illustration. And many children I know are more joyful than most adults. 

Jesus once told a parable about two men praying. I'll paraphrase. One was expressing gratitude but it centered on who he was and wasn't: "I'm so grateful I'm able to give so much to charity and that I've managed to be consistent in my quiet time. You have kept me from being a disgusting pagan like this guy praying next to me." The other guy in a less honorable profession, is crouched down. His bright green boxers are showing above his belt and he's making a scene, praying a bit too loud, using street language. "God, it's me, Joe. I can't believe I get to call you, Father. I really need Your help again. I'm so far from being the kind of husband and daddy I want to be. Just last night, I was rude to my wife and had no sympathy for my needy 4-year old. Have mercy on me, God!" 

Jesus says it was the second guy who walked away knowing God was pleased. The other walked away pleased with himself. And I'm guessing here--but probably also less joyful. (See Luke 18:9-17)

Pride, posturing, self-importance all have a joy-chilling effect. Some of the least joyful guys I know are pastors and worship leaders with rock-star images, complete with possees, multiple "handlers" and social media consultants. On the surface they look happy but when you spend more than ten minutes with them you find they are just Eustace with a few years on him, worried about image. 

How do I know? Because I fight the need to posture, to wonder if I'm presenting my best side. I'm ashamed at how long I wait to say, "I was wrong. You're right." But I'm repenting. And God is answering my prayer. 

Join me in the quest for joy. Begin here: "Have mercy on me, oh God."    

A True Man

I had a bittersweet day last week. I said so long to one of my godsons. He's entering the Marines with aspirations of being a pilot. I have a few scenes stuck in my head like one after church when he's about 5 and comes up on the platform to sit beside me after church. I can't remember what we talked about but we chatted while he swung his feet back and forth because they didn't touch the floor yet. I remember thinking even at 5 years old, he was talking like a little man. He's 24 now. On the day he left I wrote these words to him. Maybe they can be something you share with a young man in your life.

 

A TRUE MAN
(by Shawn Craig)

Some say a man is the sum of his strength,
The brawls he can win, the beasts he can beat
Some say a man is the width of his chest,
The size of his shoulders, the breadth of his neck

Some judge a man by his height and his weight,
The force of his arms, the length of his gait,
They look at the stats of his speed or his skill
And gage his true worth by his body and build

But what is a man ‘tho stronger than steel
Who fails to restrain his lust or his will
Who follows the crowd and bullies the weak
Who wastes all his days and squanders his strength

He might be a bully, a monster or brute,
A kid with tough skin, a thug in a suit,
He might be courageous, he might look the part,
But he’s not a man, although he has brawn

But if there’s a rock for those who are weak
If there’s a servant who honors his King
If there is one who will swallow his pride
And share every win with those by his side

If he is brave, but knows how to cry,
If he has heart and knows how to die,
If he is steel that knows when to bend,
Then there’s a true man…there’s a true prince!