Friday, June 20, 2008

To Wed or Not to Wed

After Father's Day and Mother's Day, Becki and I were talking about someone who had recently married. And so little thought went into the marriage. So much centered around how they felt, how cute he was and what kind of wedding they would have. Little consideration was given to the much more important stuff...like where did this person get their ideas about marriage?

Mostly, we don't learn about how to treat each other from a book. We learn by watching. So here's the clue about how to choose a mate: Watch how their parents treat each other. If the Mom treats the Dad like he's a moron...well... don't be surprised if when you're married you get the same treatment...after the honeymoon, of course. If your guy's Dad treats the wife with respect, grace and dignity, then you're probably getting a good guy.

Every fight, every conversation, every gift, every hug is a lesson in pre-marital counseling for those looking on. Even when the kids roll their eyes!

Becki and I are so grateful for the legacy we have. My parents are around STL right now and I have deep respect for them. My wife's folks were here for Mother's Day. (Here's a photo of her Mom and Dad). If my wife grows up to be like her mother, I don't have anything to worry about!

Now you may not have the same respect for your parents as we do. You may look at his parents and groan. That doesn't mean you have to be a statistic or another casualty. You can break the mold! We have many friends that are not repeating the cycles of their family. God's grace can break those destructive patterns.

But if you happen to be one of those who is considering marriage, it's a good idea to check out the parents. It may speed up your decision!

2 comments:

Jen said...

Coming from a unsaved divorced family myself and an "all but divorced" family from my husbands side, I can see God's grace abounding in our marriage. I earnestly believe had we not Godly mentors and a servant's heart for one another, we would not be as blessed in our marriage as we are. Pr. Shawn, thank you for the wisdom that you gave my husband. He's a man of integrity. We still LIKE EACH OTHER! Praise God! (You don't have to post this, I just wanted to share my gratful heart with you! Be blessed!)

Rae said...

Let's just say that to those of us who are waiting...and waiting...and waiting- for the one who God will bring our way- every day you and Becki set a shining example for how awesome it can be when you don't settle for second best. God has such and awesome plan, and such awesome timing.

Thanks for setting such an amazing example to the singles and marrieds of SCCC!