CHRISTMAS: More than words could ever say

So much can be said without words. A rolling of the eyes, a shrug of the shoulders. A hug…a single tear. Sometimes words can even get in the way of the deepest expressions of love. 

The mysteries of Christmas are countless. The virgin birth, the seemingly poor timing, the announcement to shepherds by angels and a puppet king Herod threatened by the birth of one baby among thousands. But here is one more: God says so much with as few words as possible. 

The best friend of Jesus, John the Beloved, tells us that Jesus was the Word before time, the One who spoke at creation. Yet in a manger this same Person is reduced to coos, cries and grunts. Willingly. Not because He had nothing to say, but because of a choice. Because God loved the world, His Son descends from the dominion of the universe to diapers. God the Eternal Word lies in the arms of a teenager…speechless. But oh… how that silence speaks. 

“Long ago, at many times and in many ways, God spoke to our fathers by the prophets, ²but in these last days he has spoken to us by his Son, whom he appointed the heir of all things, through whom also he created the world.” (Hebrews 1:1-2)

Regardless of the popular idea that Jesus was born on a silent night that was calm, the world did not lie in stillness. It was chaotic. Political upheaval. Tax reforms and Jews who would not worship Caesar as god, were forced to travel by foot and hoove to their birthplace__to register so the government could know more than you wanted them to know about you. So a very young Momma and a courageous but shaken Dad travel 120 miles to Bethlehem to obey the law. No healthcare, no ambulances, no epidurals. Amid a crowded city with lots of noise, a speechless Savior is born to say so much. 

So think about that today as the kids run, as family quarrels break out over who will be at what house and when. When you watch as loved ones painfully move through pain and babies cry in bassinets, remember this: God became speechless and in that silence He has spoken more than words could ever say. Forever, our world has changed and Eternity will resound for endless eons at the wonder of God speaking into our chaos. Those so-called silent years from 0-30 of a Man named Jesus forever says to you, “I love you. Your Father, God.”

HOW TO HAVE PEACE WHEN THE WORLD IS FALLING APART

Ever had one of those nights? I had one not long ago. Waking up after a dream or just waking up. Afraid to look at the clock because if I know what time it is, I’ll start thinking about what time it is and go from there. Trying to count sheep, trying all the tricks I know to turn my mind off. I need sleep. So I try harder but that unwanted intruder manages to break into my thoughts. That enemy who tells me he’s a friend. So I think, "Maybe it's 5:30. That's a bit early for me but I could go ahead and get up." But I finally look at the clock. It’s 4 a.m. 

Wrestling. Do I get up and pray or just lie there and…worry. 

• A family member diagnosed with cancer,
• A difficult conversation I need to have that I rehearse in my head,
• Did I lock the door? Did I close the garage?

·       Sometimes it’s heavier stuff like what’s been in the News:

• Guys with AK-47's in small quiet towns and shopping malls
• Terrorists using a moving van like an armored vehicle in city streets
• Record-breaking addictions to opiates and addicts giving birth to addicted babies
• Dictators threatening our national security

Yes, that’s worrisome. But other times…it’s just stuff. The stuff of everyday life. Like a 4-yr old that just keeps tugging on your sleeve. Like a dripping faucet or a pop song you can’t quit singing in your head. Worry. If fear is a big hairy monster, worry is like the little bratty sister that won’t leave you alone.

John Ortberg says the recipe for worry begins with a problem with no simple solution. Do you have one of those? If you don’t, do you think you could find one? Or maybe you’re living with one??? 

A lot of us think the answer to no worry is no problems. Whatever I’m in now, when I get out of it, I won’t worry. Just a season. If God wants me to worry less, I just need less problems. I don’t think so. I’ve noticed something about me: If I don’t have a big problem to worry about, I will find someone else’s problems to worry about. 

I think most of us would say, I don’t like to worry. I’d like a switch to turn it off. It isn't that simple. But there is a solution to worry. How do you have peace when the world is falling apart?

"Don’t worry about anything, but in everything, through prayer and petition with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God. 7 And the peace of God, which surpasses every thought, will guard your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus" (Philippians 4:6-7, HSB)

We like this verse. Because it’s simple and clear... (but have you noticed that simple and clear doesn’t mean easy?) and...it includes a command.

It seems the first stop is to take this Scripture seriously. Really? Really. Hear it like a command: Don’t worry about anything. Treat it like the SIN that it is. God doesn’t want us to worry because it hurts us. It can ruin your friendships, steal your sleep, affect your job performance. Excessive worrying can encourage panic attacks, and addiction to substances. Most of all, worry is a peace-stealer and it’s an offense to God.

Worry says, “I must be in control of everything. I must keep anything bad from happening. I’m responsible.” 

Yet Jesus says, “Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?” (Matthew 6.27) JESUS.  No. not me, not you. Jesus said that. 

So the first stop is a negative one: 

DON'T WORRY ABOUT ANYTHING. 

The second stop is positive: TALK TO GOD ABOUT EVERYTHING! 

Like Google Voice, Siri or Cortana...Heaven is voice-activated. Talk to God about everything.

“If it’s worth worrying about, it’s worth praying about.” Rick Warren. 

The result? “And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4.7 ESV)

How do you know it’s the peace of God and not just a temporary feeling? How do you know it’s not just because you had a little extra caffeine or an extra hour of sleep? Because it's more than a feeling. It’s a peace that “surpasses understanding.” It’s when you say, “I should be worried, but I have peace.” 

So friend, next time that unwelcome friend interrupts your sleep, say 'Sorry. No vacancy.' Then talk to God about everything. See if that helps. It is helping me. 

Why Gossip is a Big Deal

So the conversation goes something like this, "I don't know if I can come if THEY are going to be here. I'm so frustrated with THEM because they ______________. In fact, there are many people who feel like I do." 

Or, 

"I have to let you know that I have knowledge that he/she really has a beef with you. I know I would want to know if someone felt this way about me." 

Or, 

"The word is that they have been doing some pretty inappropriate things. I think we should be concerned." 

What should we do with such information? It depends on the answer to these questions: 

In the first case, I ask, "Who are the MANY people who "feel like" you do? In the second case, "Have you approached this person to verify the truth?" And one more, "Why are you telling me this?" 

What I usually find is that in most cases, the person is unwilling to list the MANY people who feel like they do. And when they aren't, I ask for a time-out in the conversation and say, "I'm happy to listen to how you feel. But unless those others are willing to be here, I don't want to know how they feel." When I ask if they have approached the person who has questionable behavior, usually the answer is, "No." The third question will force the person telling the story to at least think about their motives and will help give you a good course of action for moving forward.  

A person coming to you with "concerns" is usually an attempt to create what some call the relationship triangle. Person A talks to Person B in the hopes that they will talk to Person C.  And here's why I don't think Christians should resort to such tactics. 

1. Gossip is a sin. If it isn't gossip, it's right on the line. Gossip is to tell secrets about someone else without their permission or knowledge. It isn't fair and, for Christians, it's sin. (Romans 1:29b-32)

2. Not only is gossip a sin, it's damaging to reputations. Most of us have been the victim of unsubstantiated rumors. And it stinks. On occasion, I have listened a bit too long and heard a rumor about someone I knew. But because the one who actually witnessed the incident was unwilling to step forward, it couldn't be substantiated. As a result, that shadow is now in my mind regarding that friend and it's possible that it was only gossip. That's sad for our relationship. Gossip hurts. That's why it's a sin.   

3. Gossip avoids 'speaking the truth in love' to the person who needs to hear it the most. Consider Matthew 18:15, "If your brother sins against you, go and confront him privately. If he listens to you, you have won your brother over." What I've discovered, is that because most of us don't like confrontation, we want someone else to do it. As a pastor, I've had countless people who want me to do their confrontation for them. And I will not do that. It's counter to Matthew 18 and if you know about the fault, you are the best person to confront them.

4. Gossip usually feeds pride. Often the people who say, "I think you ought to know how they feel about you" are only wanting to improve their image in your eyes. They want to be the 'person in the know.' They want to be the person you can confide in. And here's the truth: they are exactly NOT the person you should confide in. If they are confiding to you about others, you can be sure they are carrying your personal feelings to someone else! Their ego won't let them keep a secret. 

Don't get caught in the triangle. Don't let other people  make their relational problems your problems to fix. Let's "man up" or "woman up" and speak the truth in love. 

A Thorny Weakness

So in America and most cultures of the world, strengths are celebrated and weaknesses are viewed as...weak. Whether you're a guy on the football team, a woman in an office full of men, a man who just bumped his head, or a girl on a cheerleading team, you don't want to appear weak. Being strong, even appearing strong, is the way to get ahead. Looking weak isn't.

This is why when we bump our head or accidently trip, we want to say, "I'm good." It's why bodybuilders with skinny legs don't wear shorts. It's why we rarely use an unflattering pose for a Facebook profile pic.

In Christ, weakness is an opportunity for God. Our weakness actually can work for us and our strengths can work against God. Make the most of your strengths? This might be true in the workplace or on the football team. But in Christ, make most of your weakness.

In 2 Corinthians 12.9, Paul is given something. He compares this gift to getting stuck with a thorn. 

Here's the thing about thorns: it doesn’t take a big one. If you’ve ever wandered into a briar patch, handled a rose, you know it doesn’t take a big one. The smallest thorn is irritating.

What was it? We don’t know exactly. (Leave it at that. No need to speculate.) But verse 10 gives us clues:  insults, hardships, persecutions, difficulties. 

•  Insults – to be on the receiving end of words or actions that are rude or insensitive – that mean to offend
•  Hardships – things that happen to you that you can’t avoid; your lot in a season of life.
•  Persecutions – when you become a target because of your faith in Christ, passed over for a promotion, or ostracized in family, or other.
•  Calamity – affliction; “narrow space” like between a rock and a hard place.

What it isn’t: not a behavior, like “He’s got a weakness for ice cream." Or, "She has a weakness for the home shopping network.” Rather, these are weaknesses that result from things that happen to us, circumstances, situations, challenges you were born with beyond your control—weaknesses that we would gladly change if we could.[ii]

• You wish you could grow another foot tall and have an imposing stature. But all the men are short in your family. Or, you’re no beauty queen and you’d change that if you could. Or, you're insulted for being shy, or not smart. 
• You were raised in a dysfunctional home, or you have kids with physical challenges, or you're caring for a family member with mental illness; or maybe a sadness seems to hang over you; a sexual coldness in your marriage partner; or you lost a baby at nearly full-term.
• You've been ostracized by family because you don’t embrace the family religion.
• You're between a rock and hard place; a husband that can’t keep a job, denied health coverage, mounting debt from sickness; a child you gave up at birth because you had to yet there is that relationship with your child that you long for.

These are all things that make you weak or appear weak, and you want to be strong. Maybe you say, "I just want to get on the other side of it." Paul wanted to get rid of his weakness, too, whatever it was. But God said, “My grace is sufficient for you.”  Paul asked three times for the thorn to be removed. It could’ve been a physical problem, a people problem, or an internal battle with no end in sight. Whatever it was it continued. God’s answer was not thorn removal but thorn survival--sufficient grace. Paul wanted the thorn out, but he also wanted greater grace. God answered the “more grace” prayer with an unwelcome gift, a thorn. 

We want life to be without thorns. “God take away this thorn.” And we pray and pray again. Paul prayed three times. Nothing wrong with praying to be delivered from the thorn. But God sometimes says, “I’m not going to deliver you from the thorn. I’m going to deliver you through the thorn.” The grace is equal to the thorn. It is... SUFFICIENT. ENOUGH.

'Enough' doesn’t mean there is an abundance. It means 'sufficient for the need.'

And here's the truth. There’s never been a believer in history who dealt with a weakness, a hardship, a calamity, who could say, “What I faced was so severe that it emptied God’s grace tank and I was stranded by God.” That never happened. It never will! [iii]

Have you prayed that God would reveal His grace in your life? I’m not talking about grace that forgives your sins and doesn’t give up on you. I’m talking about grace that doesn’t give out on you. God wants to reveal that kind of grace in you. But here’s what He says, “It comes with thorns.”

The prettiest flower is often known as the rose. And a rose grows with thorns. There are no true roses without thorns—unless they’ve been genetically altered. 

The most beautiful grace comes with thorns. As the preachers I grew up under used to say, "You can’t have a testimony without a test. Can’t have a crown without a cross. Can’t have a victory without a fight." And you can’t have grace that doesn’t ‘give out’ without thorns. 

God has a message for you: Don’t despise your weaknesses—the insults, the hardships, the persecution, the calamity—even though you’d avoid it all if you could. Your weakness is the place of sufficient grace.

---

[i]This statement is adapted from a blog by J.D. Greear, “Are you weak enough for God to use you?” https://jdgreear.com/blog/when-god-wants-to-use-us-he-often-begins-by-weakening-us/  (Accessed 5/13/2017)

[ii]This paragraph an adaptation of John Piper’s comments on this text, “Christ Power is Made Perfect in Weakness,” http://www.desiringgod.org/messages/christs-power-is-made-perfect-in-weakness (Accessed 5/13/17)

[iii]Adapted from an idea I got from a statement by Tony Evans, Life Essentials for Knowing God Better, Experiencing God Deeper, Loving God More [Moody Publishers, 2007], 84.

Seven Mistakes I Made (Make) in Leading Meetings

I've had them and you have too. Those meetings that seem to go nowhere. The one for which you punted important study time, time with family, or watching a great football game.

Sometimes it was a novice leader who was unprepared. Sometimes it was my fault. Early on, I simply didn't understand some dynamics about meetings. No one told me. I had to gradually discover by trial and error, and also by reading books from leaders who were much better at meetings than I am. 

So I'm sharing my mistakes with you in the hope that maybe you won't make these same mistakes. Learn from me. In lieu of writing "Book for Dummies about Meetings," here are seven big ones I've made and still make sometimes.

1. Not having a clear purpose for the meeting, rehearsal. (Is this to brainstorm, update, or debrief? Is it tactical? Is it to learn the choir song for Sunday or to work on heart issues?) 

2. Not being clear on who’s leading the meeting. Who is the facilitator? Who’s driving the bus?

3. Wrong people in the room or at the table. Does the content impact or speak to the people in the room? Keep in mind how “beavers” (task-oriented people) may be frustrated with creative meetings. 

4. Forgetting the impact of environmental factors.

a.    Room temp

b.    Sound level

c.    Too crowded, too empty

d.    Lighting

            e.    Bad time of day 

   

    5. Poor use of time (start late, longer than expected) 

   

    6. Not thinking about the first 5 minutes and the last 5 minutes.

a. State the purpose (People don’t know what you’re thinking.)

b. End with vision and clarity. “Start by getting attention. End with a bang.”

7. No personal touch or acknowledging the unique circumstances of people.(Did you encourage anyone? Did you say 'thank you'? Did you say, "I know it was extra sacrifice for you to attend, Joe. I appreciate it!")

    There you have it! Here's to more great meetings!