I'm not a health nut. But people think I am because some of
my favorite foods are salmon, brussels sprouts, and sliced tomatoes. I've been
known to order the "all vegetable" plate at Cracker Barrell, too.
Gasp. This will send some of you because you're saying, "There's nothing
of nutritional value left in those vegetables cooked for 10 hours with bacon
drippings." Exactly. Still, when I enjoy a Boston Creme donut on occasion,
the food police are on the spot to smirk and say, "Wha?? How could
you?"
So this is dangerous. Whenever you offer advice publicly,
beware. People remember and will hold you accountable.
This is why I'm hesitant to warn about words that we
preachers and teachers say. At the same time, I'm writing this in the hope that
it will cure me of some of my bad habits by writing them down in a post.
There's nothing like public warnings to make you more aware of your
faults.
So here goes a short list of words I'm trying to lose from
my public speaking...
1. Use the generic "God" sparingly.
In a pluralist society like ours, you can no longer assume
that when someone is talking about God they are Christian. Any quick Google
search of "famous Christians" will pull up actors and politicians who
quote a verse or say, "I want to thank God for the opportunity to win the
Super Bowl." I hope and pray it’s true. But there are many public figures who pray before an event or thank God for an award who also reject biblical
Christianity. In this day, we need to be clear. I don't mean veins bulging and
stern faces. But we must preach Jesus as the way to God. Jesus as the Son of
God. Jesus as God with skin on. Jesus as the One of whom the Spirit speaks
(John 1:1, 1:14, 14:6, 16:13). Consider John, the beloved friend of Jesus who
says this, "Who is the liar but he who denies that Jesus is the Christ?
This is the antichrist, he who denies the Father and the Son" (1 John
2:22 ESV). This is a solemn warning to we who preach and teach. God help me!
Speak of God, yes. But along the way, make clear that you
are talking about the God revealed in the scriptures, and in the end, the One
who gave His Son to redeem us.
2. Lose "things."
I don't remember the actual source, but I thank H.B. Charles
Jr. for this one. I either read or heard him telling preachers to quit
preaching about "things."
I did this often when I started speaking and still fall into
the trap. It goes like this: "The first thing we notice in this
verse" or, "The first thing we need to do in prayer is..." or,
"I'm going to point out three things Paul says about marriage." Why
use "thing" when there are so many better words to choose from?
Instead of talking about "three things," talk about three ways,
benefits, warnings, threats, guardrails, strengths, weaknesses, attitudes, or
outcomes. Which sounds more interesting as a talk or an article: "Three
things about friendship" or "Three roads to healthy
friendship"?
How much more as we teach or preach the gospel should we use
words that evoke emotion and spark interest? Did God give His Son to simply
give us some tips on having a better life? Or to help my day go smoothly? God
gave His Son so that we can have a relationship with God the Father and align
our human relationships with others. A gospel-shaped friendship is about love and
love is more profound than tips, things, or points. Though it certainly includes
them. Consider Jesus' way of teaching the gospel: two houses, two sons, or a bride and her wedding. Lose boring words
like things, points, tips, or thoughts.
3. "Right? "Alright?" "You
know?"
This is a tough one. Public speaking is much more
conversational than 20 years ago. Overall, I don't see this as a problem.
Styles and rhetoric change and in our culture people prefer conversational over
rhetorical. HOWEVER, I can resort too often to words that have more to do with
my discomfort than with a conversational style. The temptation is to elicit a
response rather than let the statement hang for full effect. This bad habit
frequently reveals itself in our attempts at humor: "So, I'm on a road
trip with my wife and the night before we are both doing that last-minute rush
before leaving. Right? I get no sleep because it's a short night, you know. And
then we're driving and my wife asks if I want her to drive and I think yes or
maybe, but say no because I want to be the self-sacrificing gentleman. Alright? But
then she's snoring and sawing logs, you know, and I'm soon driving on those
bumps on the side of the road to wake her up because I'm jealous. Right?"
For a different way to tell a humorous bit, consider how
Nate Bargatze lets funny statements hang without constant solicitation for
response. (Here's an example in
a story about a horse. Watch from about 2:35-5:33.) Or
consider the serious expositor, David Platt, who uses humor without the filler
words of "alright" or "right." (Watch this clip from
about 8:15-9:15.)
4. The ambiguous adverbs: actually, literally,
really and just.
One of the longest short flights I ever had was sitting
beside two high-school or college-age girls while preparing a message for the
weekend. Even with headphones on, I found myself counting the words 'like' and
'really' in their conversation. I lost count after 40. I couldn't concentrate
after a while and instead started counting the minutes before we could land and
I could escape. It was awful.
So go the ambiguous adverbs: actually, literally, really, and just. What do these words ACTUALLY mean? I'm not sure, but I use them all the time and they aren't helpful. It's a hard habit to break because these filler adverbs leak into our conversations and public speaking to promote a more casual feel.
And the deeper reality? I fight insecurity and the pain that
comes with it because of my great need for the gospel. If I believe the gospel
deeply, I will lose some of my fears of silence, pregnant pauses, and the need to fill in
the gaps for God.
Yes, adverbs are necessary, but they are like salt: a little goes a long way. I am actually one of the worst offenders and I really need to break this habit. (Smile.)
There are many more useless words I use in my speaking. But
here's my stab at getting better. How about you? What words in conversation or
public speaking distract you?