WE'RE MORE ALIKE THAN WE ARE DIFFERENT

Kelly Kapic in his excellent book, "You're Only Human," tells about asking students to describe themselves in a few words without using anything that relates to community or others. The students stammer and stutter, realizing that it's nearly impossible. We are tethered to community whether we want to admit it or not. 

This flies in the face of current thought. We think we are completely our own. Our identity is self-determined. Culture says, 'If you don't like who you are, look within. Find who you want to be. Reinvent yourself. The power is inside you.' 

Some have found this to be exhausting. The weight of self-discovery is unbearable if I'm the only one worthy to decide my identity. If we are merely atoms randomly held together by scientific laws, who I am to then take this brain given to me by the universe and figure out who I am and why I'm here? 

Kapic speaks to this: 

“Any attempt to live as my own center shows that I need others to understand myself and I need them even more to be a healthy and thriving human creature. This is how God made us. Because we have our being in relation and not apart from it, knowing one’s self rightly can only occur in the context of being known, of being in relationships, of being loved. The self alone, the isolated ego, is a contradiction in terms. Pursuing that contradiction leads not to life-giving knowledge but to suffocating loneliness and unending self-doubt.” 

I think he's right. Do you? 

For example, I used to think that small groups were for those lonely people out there. "Pastors like me, don't need to be in a small group with ordinary people. Maybe a group of pastors or high-level leaders would be better?” How wrong I was! My self-view was so distorted by looking within and seeing myself as a leader who should be around other "leaders” that I was overlooking my sameness.

Instead, what I've found is that being around other people with different interests and vocations than my own has brought me joy. It's pride that makes us think, "I'm not like other people. I'm unique." Yes, there are some unique things about me. But I'm more like everyone else than I'm not. And you are too! We all get tired, sleepy, restless, hungry, and even dare I say, gassy?! You're not that unique. 

Occasionally in our church, we will get a request from someone new that goes something like this: "Do you have any small groups with people my age who are urban professionals? I'm also interested in clean-earth policies and want to be around people who share that view. It would be nice, too, if there were other vegans in the group--since I have strong feelings about eating things that have eyes." 

Okay. So I'm exaggerating. But only a little. 

I want to ask them as well as you, what might you discover about the world and yourself by being in a group of human beings--some who will share your likes but others who will see the world differently? You may find that the human condition is universal---that you are more like those "other people" than you think you are. Here's what I know for certain: if you dive into the risky adventure of knowing other human beings and being known, you will get hurt. You may get angry. But you will also likely discover what it's like to be loved and to escape the chronic loneliness of this divided world.  

"We are not self-made people, we are not separate islands, we are not merely rugged individuals. Instead, we’re inevitably and necessarily bound together with others: it has been so from the beginning and will always be." (Kelly M. Kapic)

Go to a church where other human beings are. Find a group of other human beings who want to know God and each other. Do life. Your identity will reveal itself in the context of community. Not without it. 

My Top Books of 2023

There are great lists out there from much brighter minds than mine, for sure. But I do like to share books that have helped me. Since I am receiving input on a constant basis from media and God’s enemy, I need to counter that messaging. Also, reading is simply good for the mind rather than being passively entertained. 

So here goes!

These are in no particular order of importance but culled from the 30 or so I read this year. 

ON GETTING OUT OF BED BY ALAN NOBLE. Vulnerable and helpful. I recommend this for anyone who deals with mental illness and anxiety or loves those who do. Alan is a professor at OBU and he makes clear that he is not a mental health professional. However, he comes alongside as a helpful fellow-traveler. It’s also a short read at just over 100 pages which is a bonus!

WHY THE REFORMATION STILL MATTERS BY MICHAEL REEVES. I’ve read several by Reeves and no disappointments here for me. St Louis is often called the Rome of the West with its strong Catholic presence. Hence, I am frequently interested in understanding both the Catholic tradition and the Reformation for the purpose of dialogue with my Catholic friends. Even though evangelicals have much common ground with Catholics, Reeves shows why the Reformation was and is still a big deal. He writes convincingly, yet not arrogantly. I also love hearing his knowledge of church history. 

RUN WITH THE HORSES BY EUGENE PETERSON  I like to read a couple of commentaries on books of the Bible every year and I chose this one because a friend of mine said he “cried nearing the end because he hated to see it come to a close.” While I didn't share that strong emotion, I was frequently moved as Peterson walked through Jeremiah, showing him to be a real man who often felt inadequate for the mission. I felt like I met a new friend in this OT prophet and it was a big help in our series on Jeremiah in 2023.

HUDSON TAYLOR’S SPIRITUAL SECRET BY F. HOWARD TAYLOR.  I try to read at least one biography of a dead missionary every year and while I’ve read about Taylor before, this one was the best. If you want your faith to grow, check this out. The ways that Hudson trusted in God as a missionary and saw countless answers to prayer will inspire you.

STRANGE NEW WORLD BY CARL TRUEMAN. Trueman is one of the best at understanding this cultural moment as well as discovering ways of engaging it. His writing is a bit heady but this one is shorter and more accessible than some of his other works. 

ON THE EDGE OF THE DARK SEA OF DARKNESS BY ANDREW PETERSON. One of our pastors reads this series to his son, and I kept hearing about it from different men. It’s a juvenile work but I chose it to give my mind a break while reading Carl Trueman’s “Strange New World.” I wasn’t disappointed and loved the ending. I highly recommend this for reading with children above the age of 7 or so but even for you adults who like me just need an easy book to read that will raise your hope in dark times.

Honorable mention:

Gospel: Recovering the Power that made Christianity Revolutionary by JD Greear

Unmasking Male Depression by Archibald Hart

Identity Theft by Melissa Kruger and others

The Trellis and the Vine by Colin Marshall

Pride: Identity and the Worship of Self by Matthew Roberts

To better reading in 2024!

~Shawn